Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The one about spoiling your kids.

When I was a kid, things were not privileged. I lived life in an extremely poor family. I never left the state until I was 23 years old. We never vacationed. My dad owned his own business and he worked HARD. We struggled frequently. My mom made most of our clothes when we were very young. My dad worried about feeding everyone. We couldn't afford to buy school lunches. Christmases were dismal. These types of things are the harsh reminders that come with this time of year. This time of year is especially hard for me. Thinking about connections lost, my beginnings, etc.

It's also an extremely bright and wonderful time of year for me. I vowed as a child to never let my children know the life that I had. I think for the most part I am truly succeeding at that. We don't have a lot of money. But my kids don't know anything about that. They know that they are fed, clothed, and loved. They are spoiled anytime they can be. Which brings on what we did this weekend. Zak got a small bonus at work and for Christmas he let me and Harper have some money and just go have fun. Something that you dreamed about as a poor kid. Going to the toy store and picking out several things.

While I know people believe that we are bringing up privileged, spoiled, instant gratification kids in today's world, I also know the pains and struggles of the other side. If you can't possibly give your kids the world or even feed them a full meal for their bellies, is that good either? If you could shield your kids from those fears, wouldn't you want to? I'm not saying that over spoiling is great. But, I'm saying let your kids be kids and let them get spoiled every once in awhile. It's just as important, if you can do it, to let them know that they can have nice things, too. We instill in our kids how important it is for mommy and daddy to work hard so I can stay home and be with them everyday. We instill in our kids how important it is that they feel special and important. We instill love, kindness, and generosity. We instill gratitude and thankfulness. Everyday we talk about what we are thankful for.

So, in short, I think you should spoil your kids a little if you can. You might not be able to tomorrow. Let kids live those dreams that you had that maybe you couldn't achieve. If that makes them privileged or spoiled, maybe that isn't such a bad thing. If you teach your kids manners and gratitude, love and affection, you will reap what you sow. And I don't think there can ever be too much of that in this world.

Here are some of our spoils:







2 comments:

  1. Alex, This edition of your blog was so poignant. It brought me to tears. You are a very talented writer and a good Mother, never doubt that. I wish you many years of wonderful Christmases with your children and Zak. You have already made my Christmas sparkle!

    Jane

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  2. Alex, This edition of your blog was so poignant. It brought me to tears. You are a very talented writer and a good Mother, never doubt that. I wish you many years of wonderful Christmases with your children and Zak. You have already made my Christmas sparkle!

    Jane

    ReplyDelete