So, basically her larynx and epiglottis are misshaped which causes very noisy breathing, reflux, impeded airway, etc. So, we had to go to an ENT when she was a little baby and it's really upsetting to know that she may have some other malformed inner war that is going to be causing her more problems and possibly have to get tubes in her ears. She has been sick for at least 3 months straight, though, and I'm just ready for her to catch a break and feel better. So, I was already a little down about that, but then Z goes to get her prescription filled and we are told that the antibiotic will cost us $286 because our insurance won't cover it. Back in January, we couldn't make the insurance payment and when we shopped around, Harp and I had to get really crappy health insurance because we couldn't afford our good insurance any longer. And to feel like I was messing with her health by leaving my job and everything, it was just really depressing. Also, to make matters worse, the doc forgot to call in the ear drops for her, so there was literally nothing we could do to try and relieve her pain but Tylenol which wasn't even touching it for her. She was fevering right through it.
We called her ped and got them to send in the ear drops and a new cheaper antibiotic, but I can't help but feel really upset about us having to take risks with our medication that we are allowed because we can't afford any damn thing. And to even take her to the doctor is an arm and a leg where we are concerned. And, though I always recommend following your heart, doing what you dream, and going for it no matter what the cost to live happily, that does not mean it does not come with it's share of hardships and pain. On a good note, since the weather has been so poor and there is still a lot of snow on the ground, we only had 3 kids at the daycare today which has been great since I've been dealing with so much today. Very excited that one of my 18 month old kiddos learned the sign for green today. He signed it to me when we got to the color of the month. Moments like that make this worth while. I know in my heart I made the right decision and I am doing the right thing, but that doesn't make it less hard to pull yourself up by your boot straps and dive in head first. It will be and is the hardest thing that I've ever done, but I know that we will continue to grow and be successful and one day all of this hardship will be a distant memory.